The Secret to Lasting Success: Understanding the Difference Between Desire and Passion
“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” — Oprah Winfrey
While desire and passion are often used interchangeably, they represent distinct emotional and motivational states. Desire is a longing or craving for something, frequently tied to instant gratification, while passion is a deep, enduring commitment to a pursuit or purpose. Understanding these differences can help individuals harness them in a way that leads to meaningful success and fulfillment.
I’ve come to the realization that desire and passion serve their purpose in life.
Genuine connections are mutually satisfying and longer lasting, whereas instant gratification is superficial. Pay attention to what your body is telling you and act accordingly. I suggest adopting an 80/20 mentality to enjoy the simple pleasures in life while achieving our desired outcomes. As we all know, we only live once.
Understanding Desire
Desire is a natural human emotion that drives us to seek pleasure, fulfillment, or material possessions. It can be:
• Physical (bodily cravings) – Hunger, thirst, or sexual attraction.
With bodily cravings such as hunger and thirst, the body and vital organs require food and water to function. Sexual attraction allows us to recognize the signs, knowing we are not only capable of giving but also receiving pleasure, elevating us to new dimensions. Self-awareness allows us to notice when our passion shifts and evolves.
Self-awareness helps us distinguish between what we truly want and what others expect.
When we understand ourselves, we can recognize when a desire comes from our authentic self versus when it's influenced by pressure from others. At the same time, how we view ourselves directly impacts what we believe is possible for us. If we see ourselves as worthy and capable, we'll allow ourselves to want more ambitious things.
But if we have a negative self-image, we might unconsciously limit our desires to match what we think we deserve, preventing us from acknowledging specific dreams or aspirations.
• Emotional (attachments & affections) – Wanting love, recognition, or validation.
Example: A desire for love begins with self-love. Otherwise, how can we know what love is, how it feels, and how it can change our lives? Wanting love, recognition, or validation is a need to belong, be seen, valued, and connected. It fulfills and completes us, making us whole.
• Materialistic (possessions & achievements) – Yearning for money, status, or luxury.
Example: In November 2022, I accepted a contract negotiator position in Anchorage, Alaska, to return to the U.S., knowing I had no desire for this work. Having “negotiator” on my resume, in addition to my other skills, I can always fall back on in retirement, was my justification. Breaking down contractor proposals and then putting them back together to understand if the cost is fair and reasonable is boring, making going to work every day torture.
“Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.” — Napoleon Hill
Understanding Passion
Passion is a deeper, intrinsic drive that compels people to dedicate themselves to something meaningful. Unlike desire, it is not just about acquiring something but about engagement, mastery, and purpose.
Intrinsic drive comes from within, fueling my desire to create something meaningful, which attracted me to Substack. It’s where I found a space to perfect my craft while building community and connection. Fulfilling my purpose, I embrace being in the spotlight to help others reach their potential.
I believe this gift is why I was brought into this world. What are your gifts, and how will you use them to make the world a better place?
Sustains long-term effort and dedication.
Having a passion for civil service, I chose a career over friendships, family, and marriage, for which I have no regrets. I chose a safe bet over risky ventures based on the hand I was dealt early in life.
Leads to personal growth and achievement.
I worked my way from the ground up; there were no handouts, no special privileges, and only hard work. I volunteered to work outside my area of expertise and gained new skills. I went to places others weren’t willing to go (Israel and Iraq). As a result, I am highly skilled in construction contract administration, working on U.S. Army Corps of Engineers projects internationally, making me highly marketable. Additionally, I remained on the path of self-improvement, getting my BS and MS degrees, which I paid for through student loans.
Often requires perseverance and resilience.
I began my coaching career in 2015, and during that time, I have delved into career, life, leadership, and executive coaching. Having burned out from individual coaching, I enrolled in Systemic Team coaching through coaching.com. I will receive team coaching certification in May, allowing me to have a more significant impact working with organizations, their employees, and stakeholders.
“Passion will move men beyond themselves, beyond their shortcomings, beyond their failures.” — Joseph Campbell
How Desire and Passion Interact
Desire and passion are not mutually exclusive—they can influence each other.
• Desire can spark passion. A strong desire to master a skill can evolve into passion.
I strongly desired to help people, so I turned to coaching. However, before I could genuinely help others, I had first to help myself. So, I had coaches and mentors to work on personal and professional goals during my coaching journey.
As a result, coaching combined with therapy, I was able to let go of the guilt and shame I had been carrying around for things beyond my control.
By forgiving others, I was able to forgive myself. Feeling lighter and brighter, I can now speak my truth and be unapologetic about who I am and what I want—resulting in me becoming a better coach and mentor.
• Passion can refine desires. When someone is passionate about a field, they may develop desires aligned with growth.
With every article I write and every live performance, my confidence grows. It’s scary because it’s as if I’ve done this before. I also pray for guidance and that every word I speak and word I write has a powerful message to help others reach their fullest potential.
Why Both Desire and Passion Are Needed
1. Desire Sparks Action 🔥
· Desire serves as the initial catalyst for change and ambition. It gives people the urge to chase goals, make decisions, and take risks. Without desire, there would be no motivation to start the journey toward a goal.
Example: Desire encourages us to persevere, reach a desired outcome, and boost our self-confidence and self-esteem. I’ve never felt so confident and determined, which means this is actually what I should be doing.
2. Passion Sustains Long-Term Commitment 💡
· While desire ignites motivation, passion keeps people going when challenges arise. Passion provides resilience, perseverance, and dedication to a meaningful goal.
· Example: I can attest that improvement is realized over time through repetition. Excellent is not an act but a habit.
3. Desire Fuels Short-Term Goals, Passion Drives Purpose 🎯
· Desire often focuses on instant rewards or material gains, but passion is deeply tied to purpose and long-term success. Balancing both allows people to stay motivated while pursuing meaningful achievements.
· Example: I found fulfillment in civil service and coaching, which aligns with my values: loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, integrity, and personal courage.
4. Desire Creates Opportunities, Passion Ensures Growth 🌱
· Desire encourages people to explore new interests and opportunities, while passion ensures continuous learning and mastery.
· Example: Being a civil servant serving overseas allowed me to travel to places such as Jordan, Egypt, Turkey, Petra, Netherlands, Germany, Prague, and Greece, which broadened my perspective and outlook on life. With the realization that we are more the same than we are different.
“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal—a commitment to excellence—that will enable you to attain the success you seek.” — Mario Andretti
Relevant Statistics on Desire and Passion
· Desire Alone May Not Lead to Success: A study by Deci and Ryan (2000) on Self-Determination Theory found that individuals primarily driven by extrinsic rewards (e.g., money, social status) rather than intrinsic passion experience higher stress, lower long-term satisfaction, and greater burnout. (Deci & Ryan, 2000)
· Passion Leads to Greater Achievement: A study by Vallerand et al. (2003) found that individuals with a harmonious passion for their work reported higher levels of well-being, persistence, and success, while those with obsessive passion experienced stress and burnout. (Vallerand et al., 2003)
· Balancing Passion and Desire Increases Productivity: Research indicates that employees who feel passionate about their work (rather than just desire financial gain) are more engaged and productive by 125% compared to disengaged workers (Gallup, 2021). (Gallup, 2021)
“Without passion, you don’t have energy. Without energy, you have nothing.” — Warren Buffett
How to Cultivate Both Desire and Passion
1. Recognize Your Desires: Identify what excites you, even in the short term. Use it as motivation.
2. Find Purpose in Your Pursuits: Connect your desires to a deeper meaning or long-term vision.
3. Be Patient and Consistent: Passion develops over time; it requires persistence and commitment.
4. Surround Yourself with Passionate Individuals: Energy is contagious—be around those who inspire growth.
5. Balance Instant Gratification with Long-Term Goals: Enjoy the rewards of desire but remain focused on meaningful work.
Conclusion
Desire and passion are not opposing forces—they are complementary. Desire provides the initial spark, while passion fuels sustained effort and fulfillment. Without desire, people lack motivation. Without passion, they lack direction. By balancing both, individuals can achieve lasting success and happiness.
Call to Action
🚀 Take Action Today! Identify a desire that excites you and explore ways to turn it into a passion-driven purpose. Are you pursuing short-term satisfaction, or are you working toward something meaningful? Start your journey now!
I think that is so important .
This nails the difference between fleeting desire and deep, sustainable passion. So many people chase what feels good in the moment, only to find themselves restless and unfulfilled. Passion, on the other hand, isn’t about quick wins—it’s about resilience, mastery, and long-term purpose.
The part about self-awareness shaping what we allow ourselves to want is so important, because if you don’t believe you deserve something, you won’t even let yourself want it. The real work isn’t just about setting goals - it’s about expanding what you think is possible for yourself.
Desire sparks the fire, but passion keeps it burning. And when you balance both that’s where real success happens.